How Do You Say “Can I Just Use The Bathroom In Peace?” In Spanish?

Help! I'm Being Attacked By A Parrot!

Help! I’m Being Attacked By A Parrot!

When I was potty training my son, I received a helpful suggestion from a teacher at the Montessori preschool, She asked, “Do you take him into the bathroom with you at home?” Obviously she didn’t have kids. I threw her an incredulous look and replied, “I haven’t been to the bathroom by myself since this child was born.”

No. I take that back. I had dogs before I had my son was born so truly I hadn’t been to the bathroom by myself at home in years. YEARS! You have kids, you have dogs, you have no more bathroom privacy. Until they get older. The kids I mean, not the dogs.  The dogs don’t care.

So during our trip to Peru, my kids were older. I had the bathroom to myself. Or so I thought. Here’s what happened.

From the book A Life Without Borders

…on our way out of the rehabilitation center, I stopped to use the bathroom. While I was minding my own business, doing my business, a large aggressive parrot walked under the stall door and began nipping at my legs and clothes. I screamed. From over the stall door, I could heard my family dissolving into laughter. They saw the parrot follow me into the bathroom and were now enjoying my predicament. 

I tried to shoo the bird away while putting my clothes back on, but I wasn’t successful. The parrot was mean. I couldn’t scare him.

Suddenly a large wooden stick swept under the stall. Through a crack in the door, I saw a robust, older woman, bent over, looking under my door while wildly swinging a thick, wooden stick at the parrot, aggressively trying to get him out. The parrot was unfazed. The more the woman swung the stick, the more aggressive the bird became. That was unpleasant. It appeared these two had tangled before and shared a mutual history of dislike. 

The woman was determined to get the bird, and the bird was equally determined that she wouldn’t. My “savior” was now on her hands and knees, her head under the door, looking up at me. Awkward! As we made eye contact, the parrot, the woman, and me, a thought occurred to me that surely I must be on Candid Camera Peru. If so, I’d better get my clothes on. So while trying to pull up my pants, I had to avoid being bitten by a parrot, avoid being whacked by a large stick, and stop a Peruvian woman from crawling under my bathroom door. It was really a lot to ask, but I was up to the task. The bird, sensing the end was near, wisely ducked into the next stall and headed for the door with the woman right behind him. I emerged a few minutes later, unscathed, but suffering the hysterical laughter of my family. 


You can read more about our family adventure, selling it all and traveling the world for four years in A Life Without Borders available here at   or Barnes and Nobles.





  1. Oh my goodness! This is hilarious.

    One of those stories that has to be true, because there is no way to make up something that crazy.
    Tracie recently posted..Raising An Only Child And Mom-GuiltMy Profile

  2. Well you handled that a lot better than I would. I am quite sure I would have left the bathroom with pee running down my legs OR laying out in the middle of the bathroom when I tried to run with my pants down out of the stall.
    Theresa Lollis recently posted..Procrastination, Goosfabra and Being Thankful.My Profile

  3. Hey there, I found you via the NaBloPoMo blogroll.

    What a hilarious toilet tale. :) This reminds me of the toilets at a zoo I used to volunteer at, they actually had an attached bird enclosure and the birds would fly up and look at the people. Maybe they were secretly plotting an attack, if only there were no plexiglass between us. :)

    As part of NaBloPoMo I try to comment on as many participating blogs as I can, and I also add participating blogs to my feed reader. So I’m just dropping by to let you know I’ve added your blog to my feedreader, I’m reading you loud and clear.

    I have created three bundles on Inoreader so that bloggers can easily visit other participating NaBloPoMo bloggers which you can find here –

    Your blog is in the second bundle.. I have a link up going at my place so my readers can find participating blogs which you are more than welcome to add your blog link to.

    Looking forward to seeing your posts. You may see me drop by again during November, but it might be December before I finish my first drop by to blogs if I don’t get faster at leaving comments. :)

    Happy NaBloPoMo to you!

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